The truth is hard to accept, especially when it involves us. Reflecting on ourselves or our actions can be challenging because we may discover things we’d rather not face. Although everyone has strengths and abilities, there is also a shadow side — truths that are harder to confront. We may have hurt others, led some astray, or followed paths that caused pain for ourselves or those we love. We’ve all said things we can’t take back.

It’s easier to ignore these realities and pretend everything is okay. None of us like to admit our failures, weaknesses, or wrongdoings. Social media doesn’t make it any easier, often portraying an idealistic life where it seems like others have no struggles at all. We tend to take the easier route, examining others’ flaws while being blind to our own. 

The hardest part about admitting the truth about ourselves is realizing that we need something – or someone – beyond ourselves. We are not self-sufficient or self-transforming. For those of us who grew up independent, self-assured, and believing we had it all together (or at least that’s what we wanted others to think) this is a brutal truth to face. Personally, I rarely asked for advice or feedback. I kept my mistakes and temptations to myself. It felt comfortable to live in ignorance, overlooking my faults instead of dealing with reality. I didn’t have to do the hard work of transformation on myself or rely on others. I didn’t have to be vulnerable. 

But living this way is not healthy. It’s a deception that can lead us to believe we don’t need anyone, let alone God. It may cause us to allow issues to linger until they cause terrible harm to us and those close to us. By that point, healing and restoration take much longer because we neglected our brokenness. A self-righteous attitude can also develop in which we believe we are better than others and look down on those who admit their vulnerabilities. It’s an isolating life with so much energy spent maintaining a false image and hiding cracks. It’s exhausting.

The truth is we are all a blend of paradoxes. We are kind, yet we hurt others. We forgive some, but we still hold grudges with others. We have deep faith, yet we still doubt. We offer encouraging words yet speak poorly behind people’s backs. The apostle Paul writes about his struggles in Romans 7:18-19: “I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” In The Salvation Army, we talk about meeting human needs in Jesus’ name but forget that we are sometimes the needy ones. No one performs perfectly. No organization has a perfect score. No church can claim to be blameless. Why spend so much time denying that truth? Not even Paul could escape that reality. 

What’s amazing is that God still pursues us despite the truth about ourselves. He still loves us. There’s never a moment when His love stops, and we are never beyond His reach. The temptation to believe we’ve done too many wrong things to be forgiven can be strong even though, in the Bible, our sins never limit God’s forgiveness. In fact, we get the opposite message. 

Jesus tells the story of a son who wasted his inheritance, disrespected his father, and only returned when he had no other options left. As he made his way home, he thought through the right words to say to earn his father’s forgiveness. I imagine him mumbling to himself, struggling to find the perfect words. He had done so much wrong; what could he say or do to make it right? Hungry and defeated, he returned home, expecting rejection or a confrontation. Instead, his father ran toward him when he saw his son at a distance. Before any words were spoken, the father celebrated his son’s return. The father’s welcome exemplifies the extravagant, grace-filled love that God shows us and what Jesus wanted His listeners to understand.

Imperfect people, the outcasts, the ones whom society deemed beyond redemption, who, by religious law, couldn’t be associated with, drew Jesus to them, to people who were paradoxes. As Paul points out in Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (NIV).

We are all sinners who have a tendency to do things our way absent the sanctifying grace of God. Yet, despite our failures, selfishness, and egos, Jesus died to save us. 

Amid our struggles, there is a profound truth: We live lives full of paradoxes, but we don’t have to live lives of defeat. 

Let’s face the truth: We are not perfect people. We fail. There may be times when we hide our faults from others, but the truth remains, no matter how hard we try to conceal it. We must reflect on our behavior, attitudes, and thoughts to experience the transformation and growth we desire. Although it’s challenging to carve out quiet moments in our lives due to constant distractions and the fear of confronting uncomfortable truths, it’s essential for our growth and relationships with God and others. We must recognize that, despite our imperfections, God can pour His perfect love into us.

We can’t grow and change without truth. We can’t lean on a Savior if we think we can save ourselves. We can’t receive forgiveness without confession.

Confession requires us to be vulnerable. We must acknowledge our shortcomings to God and trust in His transforming and saving love. Trust is difficult these days because unconditional love is rare in our world, but it’s always been true with Jesus. We can trust Him, and we can trust His love. Just look at what He did on the cross. We are never beyond redemption. When we choose to stop hiding our messy lives and imperfect behavior from God, He meets us just as we are, cleanses us, and perfects what is most in need of perfection ­— our hearts.

Brennan Manning writes in “The Raggamuffin Gospel”: “Jesus comes not for the super-spiritual but for the wobbly and the weak-kneed who know they don’t have it all together, and who are not too proud to accept the handout of amazing grace. As we glance up, we are astonished to find the eyes of Jesus open with wonder, deep with understanding, and gentle with compassion.”

No, we are not always perfect. We fail. We make mistakes. We discover ugly truths about ourselves. However, as we continually confront those truths, we can rely on the truth of Jesus’ endless love for us. His arms are always open wide.

Illustration by Matt Chinworth